The Twelve Steps of Baby Crying in the Car

1. Maybe she won’t cry this time… Hm, nope. There she goes.

2. Try reaching back to put the pacifier in.  Root around to find it in her carseat and put it in again. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

3. Try jiggling the carseat a little, shushing her, and/or singing to her.

4. Decide I should stop messing with her and she’ll stop.

5. Hm, she hasn’t stopped.

6. Wow, she’s really worked up. It sounds like someone’s murdering her! (Chuckle a little at the intensity of babies’ crying).

7. Wonder if maybe something actually is wrong.

8. Get mad that she hasn’t stopped yet even though everything’s probably fine.

9. Start to lose it, imagining that she will continue crying forever.

10. Start crying myself.

11. Turn the music up loud.

12. Realize she’s stopped crying as you pull into your destination.

Loving and leaving the squishiness

When I was first getting to know my post-partum body, I have to admit I kind of loved the softness of everything.  I had never weighed that much in my life, but because it was weight with a purpose I didn’t feel badly about it.  I just got to love all the softness and the silly squishiness that was left of my belly once that hard ol’ baby came out.  That was a joyful time I’ll remember.

G likes squishiness

Once I got a little farther along and things started to settle, especially around the 6-week mark when we started to get more sleep, I felt like it was time to reclaim my body—you know, the one that could do things besides make milk.  Making milk and growing a baby are a funny category of exercise: they are A LOT of work, but you don’t feel yourself doing them.  You’re not directing the muscles to do their thing.  You feel tired, but you don’t really feel the kind of ‘good tired’ that comes after a walk or a workout.

So I started to do a little more walking, which felt good.  But I also started to not be as into the squishiness.  After all, none of my clothes fit and I was wearing the same few maternity-pants-that-you-couldn’t-tell-were-maternity-pants over and over every few days (lucky for us we were doing laundry constantly).  I wanted to wear all my favorite clothes again, and to feel like a fierce, badass healthy person.

Around the end of March I picked up with WeightWatchers again.  I had done it for a few weeks right before the pregnancy, to get myself off on the right start, and it had definitely worked for me.  Plus my lovely wife had had enormous success with it, and was the healthiest she had ever been, so I had a good role model (and a partner to do it with me, which is the biggest help!)

This was our dessert at brunch today with the Carson-Groners.
It is not an example of healthy food, but it was delicious, nonetheless

Anyway, it’s been going well… it’s been slow (but it should be) and I’ve learned a lot about what foods are healthy for me and which are not (sometimes surprisingly so).  It’s helped me reframe my thoughts and my habits.  And over the last five weeks, I’ve lost 6 pounds.

Then this week, I got a nasty stomach virus that rendered me pretty useless.  I didn’t really want much food for a string of days, and yet I was still producing milk for my favorite daughter several times a day.  The result of this?  I lost 6 pounds in one week.

So there you go.  A little jump start to the weight loss.  Not sure I’d choose to do that again, but I’ll take the benefits where I can get them…

the 6-pound-lighter version of me

Can I just end by putting in another plug for my wife? She is a good wife.  She reminds me daily how much she loves my body, and keeps my mental approach to the getting-healthy in check.  It’s important to have, because I love a good challenge, but this whole getting-my-body-back thing is supposed to be slow.

G reading the paper with Grandmom

Falling

I don't have to tell you it's been a crazy week.  Bottom line, we're lucky to all be healthy and whole, and to have all our family and friends intact.

But a couple times it didn't seem like that was so.  To start off, Kels was way too close to the bombs when they went off.  She had an appointment a few blocks away and started to notice the sirens as she got close by.  She smelled the explosions.  She asked people on the street what had happened and they said an explosion... and naturally she thought a pipe burst or something.  Because who thinks a bomb has gone off in Boston??

When she got home that night, we hugged and she kissed the baby a lot.  We talked about how grateful we were that no one we know was hurt.  Some family members of hers were at the finish line just minutes before the blast, but they left to get a sandwich when the person they were watching finished.  How random it all was.

Then not ten minutes after she was home and holding the baby, she set her down on the couch as we often do.  We looked away for a second and she wriggled herself sideways and off the couch.  She landed face down.  The sound, although not the bump of a head hitting, was still sickening.  I freaked out.

I've been half expecting her to fall off of something since she arrived.  I thought of how awful I would feel if it happened.  But I had no idea.  It was one of the worst feelings I've ever felt.  Kels said I was making noises like I did when I had my bad bike accident and was in actual pain.  I'm honestly not sure what I would have done if she hadn't been there, but she was, and she said immediately, "We're going to the ER."

We got in the car as fast as we could and I rode in back with her.  She was crying- differently than usual? Probably not.  But it felt different.  I wanted so badly to crawl inside of her and wipe all the hurt away.  I tried to make calm eyes at her, and tell her it was ok.  I held Kelsey's hand, and told her it was ok, too.

Getting checked out by a kind doctor

At the hospital, I kept wavering between feeling like a silly first-time parent who is overreacting and feeling like it was urgent we were there.  One of the nurses told us, "Don't worry. Babies bounce."  Sigh.  And indeed, she was totally fine.  Not even a bruise or bump.  Still, I'm glad we went, so that I didn't have to stay up that night watching her breathe and wondering if she might have a concussion or be forever damaged.

Graylyn was smiling at the doctor by the end of the visit.  She's such a charmer.

The whole thing just felt a little ridiculous.  Rushing to the suburban hospital with our infant who fell off a couch when Boston hospitals were filled with emergency surgeries.  But, whaddya gonna do?  You deal with what's in front of you.  It was random that Kelsey wasn't hurt by the bombings, it was random that others were.  In the moment, we deal with what's presented to us, the best we can.  

I love this girl.

Shots.

Today Gravy had her 2-month Well-Checkup.  The good news: she's growing well!  She's 12 pounds now (64th percentile) and 23.25 inches (80th percentile).  Woot!  The hard news: it was shots day.

I thought it was no big deal.  We are super pro-vaccine, and had no hesitations (and still don't).  But that didn't make it less hard to see her reaction.  The little look of shock as the needle went in, and then the awful cry I haven't yet heard.  I didn't realize I was crying until it was almost over.  WTF, motherhood?  This is crazy.

Someone needed lots of snuggles afterwards.

All is well, though.  I feel lucky to have such a healthy daughter thus far, and a loving spouse to be by my side.

to feel good about life

Having a rough day?  I'm pretty sure seeing this lovely creature stare back at you will help you feel better:

Hats off

Cute hats. We've got 'em.  But G got a teeny bit of sunburn at Easter (you always forget in early Spring that the sun is doing it's UV thing even if it's cool).  We realized we have a need for a good old fashioned bonnet.

One of our fine knit hats

We've had our eye on this bonnet from the great hipster company, Urban Baby Bonnets, and we'll probably still snag one at some point.  But until I find that $36 of disposable income, we needed something functional and cute as we spend more time outdoors.  Here's today's acquisition:

 Old fashioned is new fashion.  Dig it.

To balance out all that sweetness, I'll leave you with the sassy, rock-star side of G.   

Eff you, world.

Bath-time kicks!

Graylyn is currently a kicking machine.  In her bassinet, on her "forest" playmat, and especially in the baby bathtub.  I love this kiddo.  We're having fun!